Our lives are a constant go go go, and sometimes we can get blinded along the way thinking we are running towards the right direction, when in reality we’re running in the complete wrong direction.
Recently, the past six months of my life played out
like that, where I was pursuing a relationship with a guy who did’t treat me right and emotionally abused me, making me feel worthless and broken and letting him have the superiority over me to do whatever he wanted. Manipulation, thats what that’s called. It’s crazy to me how one person can change your life so drastically in a blink of an eye, whether good or bad, and you don’t even realize until you wake up one day so unhappy with the face in the mirror looking back at you that you don’t even recognize yourself or how in the world you fell this far down.
I felt trapped and I felt responsible to stick it out and not give up. But in reality people don’t change, even when they see you cry and see you hurt. They don’t change if they like seeing you that way, if that’s what makes them feel strong. He said he loved me. That’s what messed me up. I was so blinded by this idea of love, but if that’s what love is, I’d rather not bother.
Thankfully I had people in my life that loved me during this dark time, even when I pushed them away. They prayed for me and talked to me constantly telling me I deserve more than what I was settling for. You will never EVER find a true deep love if you don’t find that love through Jesus Christ first. I was lost during that time in my life, but God redirected me back to him even when I was stubborn and disobedient, and he will continue to do so. How great is our God that when we sin time and time again he will love us through it all and forgive us? Someone told me to read Proverbs 31 when I shared what I had gone through and I found it a beautiful testament for the type of woman I strive to be everyday. I am an imperfect person loved by a PERFECT GOD.
Lord, I thank you for taking my worries and stresses in your hands, for I know you know the plans you have written and planned for me are far greater than anything I could even imagine. I know I make mistakes along the way, but thank you for being a God that gives me second chances.
Take a step back and reevaluate how you’ve been living your life. Is it bringing you closer to the Lord.. or is it straying you further away from him?